A letter to ALLAH

Is it what they call ‘broken’?
Is it how to be torn in two?

Dear Allah,
How  far am I away from You?
Too much in love with him then I forgot how to love You.
Seeing only him, then I forgot You’re watching me in everysecond.
Talk about him along day, then I forgot to talk with You.
Always waiting for him when night coming, the I forgot that You’ve been waiting for me too long.
Dear Allah,
Did You angry with me?
Day by day, I just walk into him without realize if he won’t be really  in front of me. Not at all. But  then, I forgot the way to come to You.
Day by day, smile accross my face when I hear his name. But then, I forgot You were the one and only great-day-maker during these years.
Day by day, his name rising and filling up my head. But then, I forgot how to put Your name deep in mind.
Day by day, I call his name before dreaming. But then, I forgot to call Your name while You guiding my sleep next to me.
Day by day, then change into months. But I still don’t care, don’t look at You.
It’s been half year, but then I feel like broken for something unimportant that took me away from Your hold.
Did you laugh at me now because of my foolish, Allah?
I feel like nothing, but then, suddenly  I remember that You were by my side.
Oh no. You are always. And will always.
Not only these day, but these years till my end, right?
Ah, If You were not You, I must be so embarassed to back on You. But.. How can I?
Dear Allah,
I’m yearning for You now. So much. With this overflowing hopes  that You’ll hold me tight and tight, for now and forever.
So, can You please forgive me (again)?

 

 

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